I have quite the active imagination, but unfortunately it doesn't always serve me well. It is great for say, writing short stories or day dreaming to pass the time but perhaps not so good when it comes to anxiety-related issues. I can visualize the absolute worst outcome happening. (And this vivid imagination often carries over to dream land...)
A couple nights ago I awoke in a start. I was brought back to reality from a nightmare and I couldn't shake the feelings I had (even a whole 12 plus hours later...)
Mr. Hawk and I were staying at a hotel and our wedding day was rapidly approaching. I went out to run some errands and when I came back, I found him making out with a friend of mine in our room. I remember the sting and shock that I felt as I kicked my friend out. I was completely overcome by this heavy feeling in my chest that was so suffocating I could barely breath. I asked Mr. Hawk what happened, and he couldn't explain it. "It just happened." (Psh, yea right.) So I asked why he thought it was okay to cheat on me (mere DAYS before we married no less!). Didn't he love me? Yes, he did. What was it? Was he just bored with me and wanted something new? Silence... and then a hesitant yes. I don't really remember much else about the
dream nightmare but being completely debilitated and overcome with sheer grief.
Ok, back to reality... I know that Mr. Hawk did not really cheat on me or say those things, but my dreams can feel so real that they stick with me long after I'm awake. I couldn't shake the heaviness I had felt about our relationship and even found myself holding it against Mr. Hawk when he came home the next night. I eventually shared with him. He laughed at my ridiculousness and assured me it would never happen which helped but it still took me a little while to get over it. I think what made my dream so significant was that it came from a fear deep down inside that I never even realized I had. The thought of him tiring of me had never crossed my mind in the daylight hours but had somehow crept up on me when I was least expecting it.
Do you ever have wedding related nightmares? Are you able to shake them or are y'all's imaginations so vivid that they stick with you too?
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