CONFESSION: I am a crier.

One way that Mr. Hawk and I greatly differ is in our emotions. In the nearly two years that we've been together, I can only specifically recall seeing Mr. Hawk cry three times. (One of those being the day he proposed. Awwww.) And even then I've never really seen him cry more than a couple glistening tears down his cheeks.

Me on the other hand, I am a crier. I'm sure Mr. Hawk is lucky to see a week or two go by without my tears. I don't want to make myself seem coo-coo-cachoo, but I often get moved to tears by movies, music, TV shows, or even commercials. And unfortunately for me, also unlike Mr. H, I am not a one to two tear crier if I'm feeling particularly moved.

Image via FanPop via ABC's 2003 special "Britney Spears: In The Zone" with Diane Sawyer

Exhibit One: Marley and Me. I made the mistake of going to see this movie in the theater. (Heck, I made the mistake of seeing this movie at all, but I digress...) I knew Marley was going to be a goner, but knowing it could not prepare me for the overwhelming emotion. It started off with silent tears, but pretty soon I couldn't contain myself and embarrassedly audibly sniffled several times before holding my breath to get myself together. Once I got to the privacy of my own car, I had a full-on ugly cry complete with snotty nose and puffy red eyes.
Exhibit Two: Grey's Anatomy a few weeks ago. Mr. H came in while I was watching. Within five minutes he looked over and saw the tears freely falling. I composed myself as the show progressed, and Mr. H went to the kitchen. But by the time he came back I was crying again. He was baffled. I'm pretty sure the conversation went something like this: "What happened now? You were just fine a minute ago!" My response, [sniffle sniffle] "they're [sniffle] taking Meredith's [sniffle, sniffle] baby [sniffle] away!" Mr. Hawk shakes his head and walks back to the kitchen.

Now I have a very strong feeling that I'm going to be "particularly moved" on our wedding day. The multitude of opportunities for me to be affected by crying are a little frightening. Vows? Yes. First dance? Possibly. Toasts? I could see it. Daddy-Daughter dance? Abso-freakin'-lutely. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together and it makes me a little concerned. I mean, I am paying boo-koo bucks for photos to last a lifetime. I don't want to be red, puffy, and snotty in all of them! I have a feeling the day is going to be full of trying to keep myself in check and several emergency trips to the bathroom to make sure my makeup isn't all over my face.

Are y'all worried about becoming emotional on your wedding day? Do you have any tips or tricks to keeping yourself tear-free?

Here J Crew Comes to Save the Day!

The road to finding the perfect bridesmaid dresses was certainly not an easy one. Having a bit of a perfectionist streak didn't really allow for much wiggle room once I had a set vision of what I wanted. As I previously mentioned here, I had my mind set on a more organized version of mismatched dresses. I loved the look of completely individual non-matching dresses, but I did worry about creating a cohesive look. (Remember when I described my active imagination? Well it was telling me free reign could equal complete and utter chaos.) I thought that an easy compromise would be to find a collection with many options for my ladies to chose from. But when it came down to it, shop after shop left me feeling disappointed and less confident about my decision.

Now for a little backstory that y'all are missing... Long ago when I first started researching options, I found the J Crew bridesmaids dresses online. I immediately liked them, but there wasn't a J Crew Bridal Shop in Richmond and I've never really been the type to order clothing online willy-nilly. I wanted to be able to hold them, touch them, feel them, smell them... (Well maybe not smell them, but you get the idea.) So I pushed the option to the back of my mind and went about my way, visiting every bridal store in town; however, with the passing of every failed appointment, I found myself back at J Crew's website admiring the dresses.

L.O.V.E. Image via Once Wed Photo by Jill Thomas Photography

Finally after talking (er, maybe whining) to MOH A after our last appointment, we realized that there was only one dress shop left in all of Richmond that we hadn't visited. (And I'm pretty sure no department store or boutique website that I hadn't visited half a dozen times, hoping that new stock would arrive and blow my mind.) The options were very quickly dwindling. I finally gave in, deciding it was time to give J Crew an honest-to-goodness chance. I learned that there was a store in Georgetown that featured bridesmaids dresses. Mr. Hawk and I happened to be planning a Saturday trip up to the DC area to visit a jeweler, so I made an appointment at J Crew and convinced MOH A and her SO to come along, bribing them with Georgetown Cupcakes.

It literally took me seeing MOH A in only three dresses to know that my search was over. (Although she patiently continued to try on every dress I supplied her.) Of course there were some we preferred to others, but overall there wasn't a single dress that we disliked. (MAJOR sigh of relief.) I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I practically skipped with joy out of the shop. The only things left are to come back for the ladies to make their final selections and to place the order. (The beauty of J Crew is that the dresses come in within three to six business days, so there are no worries about a meeting super-specific December or January deadline.)

They say hindsight is 20-20 and in this case, I would say it's true. From the beginning, I really liked the dresses J Crew offered. I don't know why I fought it. I guess I incorrectly assumed that the bridal stores would feature a designer's entire chiffon collection or entire satin collection. And I also assumed that all designers would have the perfect color of yellow I envisioned. Instead of using the J Crew dresses (that were the perfect shade of yellow and featured many options) as my fall-back option, I should have tried to rule it out first before moving on. If I had, my search would have been much more simple.

Did y'all ever regret ignoring your first instincts for a seemingly easier option?

Lusting After Lighting

There is something so elegant and classic about a monogram. And us southern ladies just L.O.V.E. a monogram. Bags, jewelry, hell we even monogram our cars! (No really, our cars.)

See y'all? I can't make this stuff up. Image via Girly Twirly

So what does this have to do with the wedding? Well, naturally I wanted to incorporate Mr. Hawk and I's newly minted monogram into our wedding reception. And what better way to do that than use a globo light? (And while we're at it? Add a little uplighting!)

Image via Blue Steel Pro Lighting, Photo by Don Mears Photography

To be honest, when I started doing research about professional lighting in the area, I had no idea how much it cost. I just went about my merry way, visiting websites and blogs trying to find the best vendors. Well finding the best vendor in the Richmond/Hampton Roads area wasn't really a problem. I fell in love with one  right away. Their work was amazing and the reviews I read had nothing but good things to say. I set up an appointment and visited Rachel at the Richmond design studio. In an adjacent room they actually have a mini mock-up wedding reception set up where Rachel showed me the color options, pinspotting, and my beloved monogram. It was awesome to see the different color and lighting options in person. (I'm such an easy sell!)

This is when the hard part came: we sat down to talk numbers. And the number that I had in my head? Well suffice it to say that it was about half of the going rate. Now, I know that they would be worth every penny. Besides the set-up and take-down of all the lighting (uplighting, globo, pinspotting), they also keep technicians on hand all night for trouble-shooting! The budget part just absolutely KILLS me. Adding the lighting could pretty much eliminate our floral budget. (Cue internal cringe.) I still brought it up to Mr. Hawk for his opinion at which point I'm pretty sure he just rolled his eyes, thinking "there she goes again, imagining we have an unlimited budget." And this time when I brought it up a week later (and maybe the next week AND the next week after that)? The answer was still N-O.

Because I tend to be super-persistent when I really want something, I'm not ready to let this dream die quite yet. I know there has got to be a way that I can finagle our budget to make this work. So file this one in the undecided category. (And in my head I'm praying this is the one post Mr. H decides not to read. Love you, honey!)

How do y'all feel about professional lighting? Is it a must-do or something that can be skipped?

The Chairs of Every Girl's Dreams

(Or maybe just mine.)

Do enough blog stalking of SMP (along with every other bridal blog out there!), and you'll be hard-pressed not to find a least a dozen inspirational photos featuring chiavari chairs (aka ballroom chairs).

Image via Deanie Michelle Events via The Knot

Image via Style Me Pretty, Photo by Tana Photography

Simple yet just enough detail and daintyness, chiavari are pretty much the "it chair" of the wedding world. (Hello, even Jackie-O used them when she wed JFK! And y'all know she is the epitome of class.)

Image Via Vibianla

Unfortunately for many brides, myself included, these beauties come with a hefty price tag. With some companies charging upwards of $9-11/chair, I thought having chiavari chairs at our wedding reception was just a pipe dream. (But I thought... why not just do a little research...Just in case. Famous last words, right?)

I had remembered reading Mrs. Cloud's post about using chiavari chairs in the Richmond area, so I started with her vendor, Magic Special Events. They were very helpful and friendly, but at $7.75 a pop plus cushions AND mileage to Williamsburg? I knew they were out of budget.

So I searched the Hampton Roads area. Acclaimed rentals offered them, but they too were out of our range. From there I visited Distinctive Event Rental's site and was incredibly impressed with their selection. They even offered a range of colored seat cushions, but again at about $7.50 a piece, I couldn't justify the rental. I started to get frustrated with the lack of rental options, so I figured who knows the area better than my caterer? She works with these people all the time! I sent her an email immediately. She let me know that Distinctive and Williamsburg Event Rentals both offered them, but she actually had a stock of gold ones herself offered at a discounted rate of $5/chair. (Thank you, Lord!)

I called up Mr. Hawk for approval and actually waited a couple days to ask again. He responded, "I thought you took care of that forever ago!" I guess it was a go! I went ahead and reserved the chairs. I couldn't be more in love (with a chair, that is.)

Did you fall in love with chiavari as well?

Clothing our Tables: Part 2

So after selecting my tablecloths, I knew I was ready to add another layer of pizazz in the form of a table runner or overlay. Perhaps unluckily for me, there were an abundance of options available to keep me from nailing down a decision.

At first I was mesmerized by the beauty that is doily table runners like these:

 

Images via Ruffled Blog, Photos by Tracy Turpen

But then I reconsidered thinking that while beautiful, these runners were more vintage and less shabby chic.

The doilies did get me thinking though. (Thinking about lace!)

Image via Weddingbee Classifieds, photo by juneg

I loved this option as well, but I was jonesing for more color!

My next inspiration was the ribbon table runner. I imagined a more "finished" version of this (perhaps with a yellow backdrop rather than the burlap):

Image via Emmaline Bride via Ucreate Parties

Or something like this with a bit more color:

Image via Project Wedding via Elizabeth Anne Designs

 The ribbons were definitely a contender. Shabby chic? Yes. Feminine? Y.E.S.

But there was always old faithful, the patterned table runner:

Image via Etsy shop Floratouch

Simple, classic, and preppy. I could not go wrong with this option.

I've got to be honest and admit that I still haven't made a final decision. But I have narrowed it down to the classic patterned runner or the ribbon runner that I could DIY. (I'm feeling a project coming on!)

Did you decide to use a runner or did you chose to stick with the classic tablecloth?

CONFESSION: I am a horrible decision-maker

I think it's possible that some of y'all might be operating under the misconception that I'm a decisive person. I mentioned how I found my dress on my first outing, and I've described the ease of booking some of my vendors and even securing my ceremony venue. But let me be very clear: those situations were exceptions to the rule. I just happened to have a strong feeling about those decisions, and my gut led me in the right direction. When it comes to most things, I am crippled with indecision. (Ok, maybe crippled is a little extreme, but it is serious, y'all.) My latest dilemma? Picking a domain name for our wedding website.

Image via Joe the Nutrition Pro

I know, I know. I should not be stressing over something so trivial, right? But in the moment it was monumentally important. I wanted our web address to be easy to remember but kinda sweet. I had a few ideas I liked, but then Mr. Hawk threw a wrench in the plan. (Although I must admit I was already thinking it in the back of my mind. AND trying to ignore it.) Since I've found my new love of blogging, the mister thought keeping the website after the wedding might be a priority. And why not keep the same domain name so family and friends could continue to check in with us after the site gets a post-wedding revamp? He really had a point. And I hated it. This added another layer of difficulty because no longer could the site be "www.mshawkandmrhawkgettingmarried.com" or "www.thehawks2012.com". It had to be something with staying power.

I consulted Mr. Hawk, Momma Hawk, and MOH A. (I even googled "wedding website domain name suggestions." Don't bother, there's nothing really there.) I agonized for hours (and called Momma Hawk and Mr. Hawk AGAIN.) At the end of the day I thought back to my elementary school days of K.I.S.S. (Remember this acronym? "Keep it simple, stupid.") Along with the help of Mr. H, K.I.S.S. helped me snap out of my incessant waffling. I decided simple was better. Memorable was most important. I chose the domain name that I had been favoring all along: www.mshawklovesmrhawk.com. It just happened to be the option that was easiest to recall and also usable post-wedding.

I don't know why I overcomplicate things! Do you suffer from the same problem or do you just naturally live by the K.I.S.S. mantra?

Clothing our Tables

When Mr. Hawk and I met with Laura of Williamsburg Catering Company a few months back, she was offering a special that included use of their linens for no additional charge if we signed by the end of the month. At our initial meeting after discussing the basics of our menu, Laura showed us some of the linen options so we could get an idea of what they offered. Her first suggestion was to begin with our color palette. She showed us their aqua and yellow table cloths. The look was fine and her samples did match the colors perfectly, but I quickly realized that I didn't want to be so literal with our colors.

Imagine something like this stacked:

Image via Factory Direct Party

Image via ebay

Nixed!

When she walked away to grab some more linens, I spied the perfect tablecloth folded in the corner left out from a previous meeting. Oatmeal in color and heavier in fabric, it wasn't something I had seen before, but I knew I loved it. It wasn't quite as thick as burlap, but it had texture to it. It felt vintage, rustic enough without being out of place for our venue. Here is it on display at the Open House Mr. Hawk and I attended last weekend. It even works in this ballroom setting!

Personal Photo

I was very excited to have found the first major element to our table decor (besides the antique mason jars, of course!) It was a great starting point. Now because I wanted to add more visual interest and play with texture, I decided that I needed to add a runner of some sort, but more that to come!

How did you decide on your linens?

Marrying a Traveling Man

Mr. Hawk works in retail. More specifically, he is a District Supervisor for a chain of retail stores. If any of y'all have ever worked in retail or have been in a relationship with someone who worked in retail full time, I'm sure you have an idea of what his job entails: long hours, working holidays, and (my least favorite) travel. (Lots.Of.Travel.) He is gone so often that sometimes it feels like we are in long distance relationship even though we share the same address. In the off-chance that he can actually make it home, it still feels like we're just crossing paths. He walks in the door around nine, and being an early riser myself, I head to bed around ten or ten-thirty. Come morning, I wake up earlier than him to head to work. When it comes down to it, we're lucky if we've actually spent over an hour of (conscious) time together!

Image via Long Distance Relationships

So how do we make it work? Well I think most people would say, "the phone is your friend." But Mr. Hawk and I kinda suck at that too. Neither of us are particularly phone-chatty, and we still face the issue of our conflicting schedules. Our saving grace is our lazy Sundays. Church and brunch/lunch at home, followed by hours of lounging and cuddling with movies or football on TV is how we make up for lost time. It's the one day a week that we close ourselves off from the rest of the world. (And it's wonderful!) I must admit that lately the wedding planning bonanza has begun to interfere with our lazy Sundays, but we've kind of started to take advantage of lazy Friday nights, so maybe that can serve as a temporary replacement. It doesn't really matter the day or time, the key for us is to have alone time to reconnect, preferably without tons of wedding talk.

Do you or your significant other travel frequently? How do you stay in tune with one another?

No Kids Allowed

Pretty early on Mr. Hawk and I knew that we wanted to have a smaller wedding, surrounded by our closest family and friends. The thought of being introduced to some distance second cousin twice removed at the reception just didn't feel right to me. We decided to keep it as small as possible for such an intimate occasion; however, not unfortunately  for us but unfortunately for our guest list, our families alone could easily exceed the 120 guest max mandated by Wren Chapel. Actually let me clarify, Mr. Hawk's family alone could easily exceed 120 people. (FMIL has over 10 siblings, so with their children and grandbabies, well you can do the math 'cause my head just started hurting.)

We knew we had to draw the line somewhere if we were even going to have room for friends (and maybe some of my family members). So we decided to have an adult-only ceremony and reception. Now I know that the idea is still considered somewhat controversial, but like I said we had to draw the line somewhere...

Image via Zazzle

Now here is the tricky part: every rule must have an exception. My little sister, Jr. BM M will be twelve at the time of the wedding (obviously not an adult). And our adorable flower girl W will only be four. Since they are members of the bridal party, we figured that no one could really put up a fuss. But it gets worse! We just found out that Mr. Hawk's sister is preggo with baby number two. My soon-to-be nephew will only be approximately two and a half to three months old come our wedding day. I am very conflicted with what to do. Mr. Hawk says that we can't very well tell them that FG W can come but their brand new baby isn't allowed, which I understand. But at the same time my rule-follower side says the rules should stand. I don't want to ruffle any feathers with other guests! I had a fleeting thought of having my future nephew serve as ring bearer, but he will literally be a newborn and I don't think it makes sense.

The line that I thought we drew is looking a little hazy. What are y'alls thoughts? Did you struggle with your guest list?

Wedding Nightmares

I have quite the active imagination, but unfortunately it doesn't always serve me well. It is great for say, writing short stories or day dreaming to pass the time but perhaps not so good when it comes to anxiety-related issues. I can visualize the absolute worst outcome happening. (And this vivid imagination often carries over to dream land...)

A couple nights ago I awoke in a start. I was brought back to reality from a nightmare and I couldn't shake the feelings I had (even a whole 12 plus hours later...)

Image Via Bridal Buds

Mr. Hawk and I were staying at a hotel and our wedding day was rapidly approaching. I went out to run some errands and when I came back, I found him making out with a friend of mine in our room. I remember the sting and shock that I felt as I kicked my friend out. I was completely overcome by this heavy feeling in my chest that was so suffocating I could barely breath. I asked Mr. Hawk what happened, and he couldn't explain it. "It just happened." (Psh, yea right.) So I asked why he thought it was okay to cheat on me (mere DAYS before we married no less!). Didn't he love me? Yes, he did. What was it? Was he just bored with me and wanted something new? Silence... and then a hesitant yes. I don't really remember much else about the dream nightmare but being completely debilitated and overcome with sheer grief.

Ok, back to reality... I know that Mr. Hawk did not really cheat on me or say those things, but my dreams can feel so real that they stick with me long after I'm awake. I couldn't shake the heaviness I had felt about our relationship and even found myself holding it against Mr. Hawk when he came home the next night. I eventually shared with him. He laughed at my ridiculousness and assured me it would never happen which helped but it still took me a little while to get over it. I think what made my dream so significant was that it came from a fear deep down inside that I never even realized I had. The thought of him tiring of me had never crossed my mind in the daylight hours but had somehow crept up on me when I was least expecting it.

Do you ever have wedding related nightmares? Are you able to shake them or are y'all's imaginations so vivid that they stick with you too?

A Reason to be Inspired

Recently I got to meet a very special newborn old baby girl, the daughter of BM K and her hubby Groomsman R. Over the past couple months, after finding out about BM K's pregnancy, (and maybe even before then?), I've been thinking about how BM K and GM R are one of my "inspirational couples." When I look at them and see how much love and mutual respect they have for each other, I can't help but hope that one day Mr. Hawk and I can be as great of a team as they are. (Not to say that Mr. Hawk and I are a crappy team! But we're still learning and establishing ourselves as a unit.) BM K and GM R are always affectionate and kind towards each other. I have never seen them publicly argue and they really have a true partnership.

In the day and age where divorce seems to have run rampant, and people can't WAIT to spit out divorce statistics, it is so fantastic to see couples who are making it work and are blissfully happy. Take Momma and Daddy Hawk for another example. (My other inspirational couple!) They have been married almost 35 years. They have survived raising 1.5 children (they've still got a few more years to go on the short stack), four cross-country moves, numerous careers, unemployment, all amongst other typical family struggles and life in general. Somehow after all that, they seem as close and as in love as ever! (Take that, Mr. Statistician!)

I hope Mr. Hawk and I are still having this much fun in 35 years!! (personal photo)

I really do feel blessed to have real-life inspirational couples in my life. Not the couples of television and movies, but couples who have and are currently dealing with real life struggles. Couples I can look to for guidance, encouragement, and a little dash of gold ole' hope. I truly believe that Mr. Hawk and I have the stuff to make it. So what is "the stuff?" Lord, don't I wish I knew! But looking at my inspirational couples I think it's desire to make it work, mutual respect, common interests and goals and the ability to not sweat the small stuff. (Phew! Seems like a tall order, huh?!)

Who are your inspiration couples? Do you look to family or friends for relationship guidance?

Let's Talk about the Tunes

I am quite the little music enthusiast. From country to hip hop and oldies to contemporary rock, I love it all. And although I consider myself an equal opportunity music enjoyer, I still have somewhat of a "discerning taste."  So when Mr. Hawk and I started discussing our music options, we knew that we wanted to go the DJ route for the ability to enjoy a plethora of music styles. But at the same time we didn't want just anyone behind the DJ booth. We wanted to avoid the super-cheeseball DJ that turned our wedding into his own personal stage. (Yes, I'm looking at you, Pauly D. I may be fascinated by the train wreck that is Jersey Shore, but stay away from my wedding!)

Image via Leisure Blogs, Photo by Darkroom Demons

I think I really hit the nail on the head when I found Liz Daley of Liz Daley Events. She came with tons of glowing recommendations, and when Mr. Hawk and I first met with Liz for our initial consultation, I instantly got good vibes. She was so personable and enthusiastic, but at the same time she was professional and meticulously organized. During our consultation she showed us videos from previous weddings she had worked, and we were able to view a small sampling of her incredibly expansive music library. She detailed her equipment and set-up and even let us know about her in-case-of-emergency backup plans. She really eased any fears I had. But I think what really sold me on Liz was her focus on us and how we could tailor the reception to be very personal and unique to us as a couple. She was all about making the event an unforgettable experience, where everyone would leave thinking, "that was just so Hawk and Mr. Hawk!" I knew with Liz that our reception wasn't going to be a cookie-cutter experience. After our consultation, I immediately quit my search. I knew I had found everything I was looking for (and MORE!).

I have a top-secret-for-now project up my sleeves to work on with Liz over the coming months, but hopefully I can share a few more details on that in the near future.

How was your journey to find wedding entertainment? Was it slow-going or easy-peasy like my experience?

Tasting - Take Two

Recently we ventured back on over to Williamsburg for our actual tasting/open house with the caterer. (I say actual because of my bridal scatterbrain induced date mix-up the previous weekend.) This was our first opportunity to try some of the tasting offerings from our caterer. Every quarter, the Catering Co. typically holds Open House tastings along with a couple of other local vendors to showcase their work. Since it was being held at William and Mary's Alumni House, I knew that it was going to be a nice event, but I wasn't prepared for what we walked into. The entire main floor was pretty much set up for a reception. There was an extensive appetizer display with fresh fruits, cheese and dips, a lemonade bar, and several food stations all styled. Additionally there were several set tables all featuring individual themes with complementary floral arrangements and unique china settings. There was even a bar set up to try cocktails, wine, and beer. (If you can't tell, I was quite impressed!)

It was great to sample the food and I was all over that lemonade, but what really got me was seeing the actual settings in person and witnessing the styled tables and food stations. It was amazing and truly a testament to how well the caterer and florist work together to create a cohesive, unified look. (We hadn't even spoken to the florist at that point and I was already on her bandwagon!)

I don't know if Mr. Hawk was quite as enthused as I, but I definitely believe that the Open House was worth another trip to Williamsburg. (Honestly it would have been even if only for the food, but all the inspiration put it over the edge for me.)

Did you ever find inspiration from an unexpected source?

All photos personal

Who Will Pronounce Us Man and Wife?

One reason I think Mr. Hawk and I work together is our shared common beliefs when it comes to religion. Both of us grew up in families where faith and Christianity were an integral part of our upbringing. So having a traditional Christian ceremony in a church was a no-brainer. The difficulty was who would officiate?

Image via My Wedding, Photo by Click Photography

Lucky for us, it was more of an overabundance of options that brought on our dilemma. Mr. Hawk's stepfather is a pastor who performed the ceremonies of two of Mr. Hawk's siblings, so he was an option. (Although he did make a joke that his track record wasn't exactly stellar... not that I'm superstitious or anything...) Being members of a church in Richmond, Mr. Hawk and I also have developed a relationship with our church's pastor, and we loved the idea of having him be a part of our wedding too. And then we had our last contender: do you remember when I mentioned FMIL's sneak attack on Mr. Hawk and how she put the pressure on him to buy a ring? Well at the time she mentioned that she would officiate the ceremony herself since she had become ordained. At the time, we weren't at the place to be thinking about a ceremony, but almost a year later her suggestion had stuck with us.

We decided that it would be incredibly special to have FMIL perform the ceremony, but Mr. Hawk did have some concerns. He was worried that she would never say no just to prevent disappointing him. He was concerned that she wouldn't get to sit back and really enjoy the ceremony. In the end Mr. Hawk did decide to ask her, making it clear that we would not be upset if she'd rather enjoy the ceremony from the pews. Apparently she didn't hesitate to take on the role. (YAY!)

We've talked about the very basics of the ceremony with her but have yet to do any concrete planning. I can't wait for the three of us to sit down and plot out the specifics. Having Mr. Hawk's mom be such a big part of our wedding will definitely be special.

Do you plan on having a friend or family member officiate?

Favors and Guest book? DONE and DONE.

Since I confessed my love for photography, it should hardly come as a surprise that having a photographer and second shooter at my wedding was just not going to be enough. I wanted to incorporate other ways to photograph are guests having fun.

Attending my cousin's wedding about a year and a half ago, I discovered the wonder of the photo booth. They had fun props like boas, funny glasses, hats... Now I know this is nothing new to the wedding world, but since it was the first wedding I was able to attend as an adult, I just thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread! And as a twist from the guest book norm, they had a table set up with scrapbooking pages, stickers, and markers so that guests could make their own page and offer well-wishes and advice to the couple.

Image Via My Daily Wedding Deals, Photo by Circle City Photobooth

Pretty much as soon as we started planning I kept mentioning the photo booth idea to Mr. Hawk. Having never been to a wedding featuring one, he couldn't quite grasp my enthusiasm. It wasn't too difficult to finally get him on board. (I'm sure my incessant gushing had nothing to do with it) But we were still unsure that it was in the cards due to budget constraints with our reception venue. Well remember how I told you that booking Legacy Hall really opened up some wiggle room in the budget? Well, HELLO PHOTO BOOTH!

Image via Williamsburg Photo Booth

Luckily Williamsburg Photo Booth was available for our day and we didn't hesitate to book them. And like at my cousin's wedding, they will provide a scrapbook to serve as our guest book for everyone to leave a message with a copy of the photo strip. I intend to make some cute little signage with instructions on the guest book and may even DIY some of those cute mustaches that I've seen popping up all over the web. But I am extremely happy to report that both my guestbook and favors are basically complete!

Image via The Knot, Photo By Stell Alesi

Did you come across an idea that killed two birds with one stone?

CONFESSION: We Committed a Major Engagement Party Faux Pas

Some people might say that having your family across the country is a "blessing in disguise," but those people must not feel the same way I do about my parents because I think it S.U.C.K.S. Momma Hawk and I are extremely close and we talk nearly every day on the phone, but when you need your closest confidant to accompany you to venues, tastings, and general planning sessions, the phone doesn't quite cut it. The same applies for arranging very important parties, like say your engagement party...

In the several years it has been since my parents and sister moved to California, they had never been able to make it out this way to visit. (So it was not like having them around was a regular occurrence.) I knew the exact week in August that Momma and Sis Hawk would be making the trek to Virginia, so we did the unthinkable. Mr. Hawk and I, along with Momma Hawk's assistance, hosted our own engagement party...at our own home. (Gasp! The horror!) I know, I know. It's frowned upon to host any get-together in your own honor, clap for yourself as you receive an award, or take a drink after someone is toasting you (I've paid attention, Mrs. Post), but planning our own party was what worked best for us.

Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette via Emily Post

FMIL Hawk lives out in the middle of nowhere, and obviously mine lives cross-country. A friend would have gladly hosted, but with our tight schedule and my mom and sister staying with us, it just made sense. We kept it very casual and intimate, only inviting family, members of the wedding party, their SO's and one or two select close friends. A couple of our friends very generously offered to help cook and brought sides and appetizers. Momma Hawk made her A-MA-ZING salsa, I prepared my now-famous sangria, and we served pulled pork sandwiches. (Could you imagine anything different with Mr. Hawk's taste?!) It was really a great time and I am so glad that I could share it with my mom and sister. It really wouldn't have felt like an engagement party without them there. (So go ahead and call the etiquette police! Guilty as charged.)

Did you ever commit a wedding etiquette faux pas? Do you think that the old rules still apply?

Creating the Wedding Website

I consider myself to be fairly in-the-know when it comes to computers. (Give me an excel spreadsheet, and I will blow your mind!) But when it came to designing our website, I was a little clueless.

Image Via Frock On from Paramount's Clueless

Not really considering any other options, I initially set up one through The Knot; however, once I saw a few examples of what could be done by designing your own through Mac's program iWeb, I was no longer content with the minimal template options offered at the Knot.

I happened across a tutorial by Mrs. Cupcake. She is very thorough in the design aspects, which I found super-helpful given that I'd never used iWeb previously. I pretty much followed her directions to a T.

After completing the design aspects, I was a little lost. Mrs. Cupcake published her website with a .mac account, which is no longer in existence. MobileMe was created as its replacement, but it will soon be obsolete as well. I had no idea where to go from there. That's when I got my googling fingers ready and went to town!

From the research I've found, publishing without MobileMe can be time-consuming if you select the incorrect "helper" program (or FTP client, for you web savvy folks) to upload your iweb site. You may have to completely re-upload the entire site for any changes you make (rather than just refreshing your updates), which can take hours if you create a large site. But after trolling the internet, I found some great suggestions to combat this issue. (See tutorials using w2w from Simple Help, Macworld's youtube video using Easy iWeb Publisher, or Giumkie's video tutorial using Cyberduck and Transmit.) I ended up selecting Cyberduck as my FTP client and found it incredibly simple to use.

But don't let me get ahead of myself! Before you can upload your site, you have to figure out where you want it to be hosted. This was another area where I had no previous experience. There are only a million options out there! I was mainly concerned with price point since I didn't want to shell out an arm and a leg just to have a personalized site. I found several viable options: 1&1, My Hosting, Yahoo Web Hosting, Host Monster... (Next Advisor offers deals AND reviews here.) In the end, I decided to go with Go Daddy due to its name recognition, price, and vast options. Plus I found several help articles on their site for iWeb users. (With my inexperience, help is a necessity!)

When I initially looked at Go Daddy, it seemed overpriced compared to some of the alternatives, but if you google "go daddy" a banner ad should appear with a $1.99 hosting link. Now this is only valid for 3 months and then the price increases, but over 12 months it was comparable to the other hosts I found, and I liked the idea of having extra help if needed. Through Go Daddy (and the other hosts I listed above) you can also purchase a domain name (or personalized web address such as www.thehawkwedding.com).

So after purchasing my domain name and a hosting package from Go Daddy, I had to set up my hosting account. This was very straight-forward, but I didn't anticipate having to do this after paying for the package. Just go to your account, select web hosting under "My Products," and launch the control center. You'll have to pick an admin username and password before you can upload. Expect to wait at least 30 minutes to an hour after setting up your username before you can upload your site via FTP. (Go Daddy will email you a confirmation when you're ready to upload.)

Once I had the confirmation, I logged back into the control center so that I could have all of the FTP data I needed to input into Cyberduck. From there I went slowly through the tutorial again and followed the steps. Having a video was key with my inexperience. I found reading web jargon completely confusing! It only took about ten minutes once I launched Cyberduck to get my site uploaded and running! Sounds easy, right?

Screen shot of our site!

Did you attempt to make a website from scratch?

Bride Wars!

I know this is silly, but I think it's human nature (or maybe its just me and I'm rationalizing!)... I have found myself comparing my wedding to a wedding of a friend who is getting married around the same time Mr. Hawk and I are. Trust me, it's not a competitive streak of who-is-outdoing-who I feel, but rather a feeling that I am so behind on planning!

This couple, who are very close friends of Mr. Hawk's, became engaged a few months after us; however, they decided to have a shorter engagement and get married a couple weeks before we will be married. I'll admit that I was a bit surprised, but it didn't bother me because I knew it was what would work best for them. (And they did it taking our wedding into consideration, which they definitely didn't have to do!) What has begun to send me panicking is hearing the progress they've made.

Image Via Wallpaperez, From 20th Century Fox's Bride Wars

Now the bride-to-be is lucky in that she is the youngest of three girls. This isn't her parents' first wedding and over the years they've gained some insight and developed contacts. Additionally her reception is more of an all-inclusive deal with florist, catering, etc., which means less leg-work to find individual vendors. I just feel like I've been working at this forever and am still far behind! When they booked their honeymoon, when they sent out their STDs, and when I found out the bridesmaids dresses were ordered, I felt a panic in my belly and my mind start to race. Shouldn't I have (insert task here) done by now? Am I behind?

Like I said earlier, I know it's silly. I can't say that I've completely overcome it yet, but I am trying to focus on us and all of our accomplishments to date. Being as Type-A as I am, I know we're not behind schedule because I keep that wedding checklist close to my side! I just have to keep telling myself that we are right where we are supposed to be.

Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other brides? How do you get focused back on your own wedding?

The Way Wren Makes Me Feel

I've already touched on our ceremony spot and how it was the easiest decision that I've made to date, but since Mr. Hawk and I had a little extra time to spend in Wren Chapel due to my bridal scatterbrain (Oops!), I figured I'd share a little more information about the place that will forever stay near and dear to my heart.

The Chapel of Sir Christopher Wren is housed in the Sir Christopher Wren Building, often shortened to just "Wren" by students and faculty alike. Wren is located on the historic or "old campus" and serves as the gateway from Colonial Williamsburg into the university. I won't bore y'all with too much history, but Wren is the oldest college building in the United States and was constructed between 1695 and 1699. (If history is your thang, you can read more here!)

Being as old as it is, Wren Chapel has somehow developed its own energy. Just walking through the door, I am immediately surrounded by an indescribable buzzing and hum of electricity. I swear I get goosebumps every time! It still kind of takes my breath away.

Yesterday was Mr. Hawk's first visit inside of the actual chapel and although I don't think he feels quite the same connection with the chapel as I do, I could tell by his look and how he excitedly discussed some details and semantics of the ceremony with me that he loves it as well. We were lucky to be the only ones in the chapel during our visit and it was a very special few moments that we shared. I can't even begin to imagine how much different it will feel when filled with all our family and friends!

Do you feel a special connection with either your ceremony or reception spot?

Bridal Scatterbrain

Oh boy, y'all. I really messed up this time! A few weeks back Mr. Hawk and I had a busy wedding-filled weekend planned. I went bridesmaids dress shopping that Saturday and had a tasting scheduled for Sunday with our caterer and a flower consultation afterward... Or so I thought...

Mr. Hawk and I got up and went to church. From there we left straight for Williamsburg. An hour drive down the road and we were there. Being short on time, I suggested that we the sandwiches we grabbed while walking to our next destination. (No time to sit an relax!) When we arrived at the open house, the building seemed pretty dead. Since it was extraordinarily quiet, Mr. Hawk suggested I double-check my email invite. I had been reading the invite details on the car ride, so it was still open on my phone. We were at the right location, right time...but wrong date. [UUUHG!!] The tasting was actually scheduled for the NEXT weekend.

I immediately began apologizing profusely for my error. How could I let this happen? (And how did I overlook the date when we were driving in the dang car?!) Mr. Hawk was shocked that I could be responsible for such an "epic fail." (His words, not mine.) I am usually so on top of things! (Hello, planning is straight up my thing!) The only way I can rationalize my mistake is to attribute it to bridal scatterbrain. Like every other bride, I have so many things on my plate. At any given time, I feel like I'm juggling a hand full of decisions, selections, and search queries. The only thing I can do is be better about scheduling appointments in my phone calendar. (But honestly I've never needed to until now. Darn you, bridal scatterbrain.) At least we made the most of our visit and spent some time at Wren Chapel, our ceremony spot.

Via Open Library

Have you ever become overwhelmed with all things you were juggling and been hit with bridal scatterbrain?

'Maids Dress Shopping...Disappointment

Today I excitedly met two of my ladies, MOH A and BM R, at a local bridal shop, Tiffany's. After visiting their website and scoping out the designers they carried, I was very hopeful that we might find something great and be able to come a decision. We searched through the racks and picked up what felt like 50 dresses. I was very optimistic at first, finding both a collection of satin and chiffon dresses that we all agreed were great, but when we emptied the room of all the discard dresses, we were a little underwhelmed with what we had left.

Image Via Style Me Pretty by Braedon Photography

Loving the look of mismatched dresses but hoping to make the process easier on me and my ladies, I have been determined to find a collection of dresses where my 'maids could pick their own individual style. I really believed that picking a collection would be the simpler alternative to having everyone find a dress on their own, but when it has come down to it, N.O.T. EASY! I'm having difficulty finding a collection that suites my wedding style and my bridesmaids' tastes.  We have found a single dress here and there that we loved, but not a collection. We've now visited two bridal shops as a group and I've visited two on my own. Compared to finding my wedding dress, this process has been downright difficult!

I'm going to keep plugging away in my search, but if we can't find something soon, I'm thinking I might have to change my plan and go with one dress for everyone.

Did you find bridesmaid dress shopping more difficult than bridal dress shopping? How many shops did you have to visit before making a final decision?

Save-The-Date Indecision

I made the decision a while back that Save-The-Dates were pretty much non-negotiable. Even though most of Mr. Hawk's family is located in and around the Richmond area, my family is quite spread out. (California, Arizona, Georgia...need I go on?) So deciding to send them was the easy part. In what form to send them was where I got stumped. I wanted to go somewhat of a traditional route and have nailed it down to two options: the postcard or the magnet.

I kind of love the idea of a postcard. They're more unique, a little retro, and I like the idea of being able to include a short message on the back. (Plus, they are an affordable option!) I just love this design from Wedding Paper Divas. It fits our theme, location, and it's pretty much already in our colors!

Via Wedding Paper Divas

My only concern is that they might have a higher probability of getting lost in the shuffle. If y'all are anything like me, I H.A.T.E. junk mail. It barely makes it into the house before getting trashed. And my concern is that something as thin as a postcard might be less noticeable than a card or magnet in an envelope. I would be devastated if they inadvertently ended up in the trashcan. So, this brings me to the other option, the magnet.

Who doesn't love magnets? They're trendy and actually very useful! (I have several on my fridge from weddings that have long-since past.) And with a magnet, there really is no worry of them being discarded. They're heavy enough not to be missed. Here is the design I've been eyeing from Magnet Street:

Via Magnet Street

The only downfalls to the magnet route are: 1. Are magnets overdone? In the past couple years, every wedding I have been invited to featured a STD magnet except one. 2. They are almost double the cost of the postcard option, not including extra postage if necessary. (I haven't really looked into that aspect yet.)

I'm still holding out on making a final decision. I'm hoping when I get access to my full engagement session photos, that perhaps they will steer me one direction over the other.

Did you send STDs? Do you think my postcard worries are justified?

Who's that lady?

Since you’ve met Mr. D and I, I figured it was about darn time for you to meet some of my favorite ladies, none other than the beautiful members of the bridal party! (And it is quite timely since I’m shopping for ‘maids dresses Saturday morning! [Eeeek!])

MOH A

A and I first met sophomore year in my Intermediate Macroeconomics class. She was a fellow econ major at the college and actually lived in the same building as me, although we didn’t discover that until later. Being somewhat of a larger class, we really didn’t interact much the first couple weeks of the semester until I joined Alpha Chi Omega, where she was already a sister. That was pretty much all we needed to start our friendship, and once we found out that we shared a mutual love of football (ahem, players) and spiced rum, we were pretty much inseparable. (Besides when you are constantly accused by strangers of being sisters, you’ve gotta be close, right?)
BM R

If it hadn’t been for my friendship with A, I would not have ever met BM R (A’s cousin). I first met R when she made a trip to visit A in the ‘burg. Throughout senior year, when A and I were roomies, she came to visit a few times and when A and I went home to Richmond on breaks, we were like the three amigos. R, like me, has an affinity for shopping (for hours on end. Really. H.O.U.R.S.). She is definitely the kind of girl who will keep you in stitches (sometimes simply due to ditzy comments), but more than that she’s someone you can count on to comfort you in your time of need.

BM K

K and I met through Mr. D about two years ago. (He calls me a friend-stealer for having her stand on my side. Psh.) K is married to one of Mr. D’s longtime friends (and groomsman) and so when Mr. D and I began dating, we spent a lot of time with K and her hubby. (We even joined a bowling league together!) K and I bonded over our mutual love for reading and Harry Potter. I can’t imagine not having K stand at the alter next to me because from day one, I’ve felt like she and her hubs have been the two biggest cheerleaders for Mr. D and I’s relationship. She is incredibly kind and I swear she always, always has something nice to say. I don’t think there’s a person alive that couldn’t like K.  
BM T

I count T as one of my lifelong and dearest friends. We met in middle school and we immediately bonded. She was goofy and kind and totally shared my sense of humor. I couldn’t count the number of hours that we spent together from middle school through high school. She was a constant fixture at my house and was like a sister to me. Although we don’t get to see each other often or even spend hours on the phone, she’s someone who I’ve never lost bond my with. We always just pick up where we left off and I love her to pieces!

Jr. BM M

Last but certainly not least is M, my “mini me”/short stack/half pint/little britches...(I could literally go on and on...) my sister. M is adorable, intelligent, and incredibly loyal. (My mom likes to tell a story about when I was in high school. I came home after a rough day and was crying about something. My sister, a toddler at that point, came over and tried to push [and maybe even kick if my memory serves me correctly?] my mom away, thinking she was the one upsetting me. Who wouldn’t want a sister with loyalty like that?!) M is caring and compassionate and is so witty without even trying. I couldn’t imagine my life without her and am glad to be sharing my special day with her.


How many 'maids do you have in your bridal party? Was it difficult to decide which friends/family members you wanted to ask?




All photos personal