I can be very impatient. (And Mr. Hawk may think that is a gross understatement!) I mean, I S-U-C-K at waiting when it comes to something I really, really want. While my determination has served me well career-wise, it wasn’t exactly conducive to the whole engagement process.
When Mr. Hawk and I moved in together back in October of 2010, I wanted to make our intentions crystal-clear. We decided that if we were going to cohabitate, it was a serious step in making a more permanent future together. I was incredibly happy and excited to be moving forward in our relationship until things didn’t follow the timeline I had somehow developed in my head along the way.
It started innocently enough with a visit from the Mr.'s Momma, FMIL Hawk, at our new abode. After giving her the tour, we sat down to spend some time together. Almost immediately, she dug into Mr. Hawk. (Both of us coming from somewhat conservative Christian backgrounds, we knew our new living arrangements weren’t exactly hunky-dory in our families’ eyes, but I don’t think either of us were expecting this.) Boy oh boy, did she give it to him. She wanted a date and a ring A.S.A.P. to (using her words) “make this right.” [Eek!] At first it was a little uncomfortable for both of us, but it really did open the door for more concrete discussions about where we saw our relationship going. Only a week or so later, we were out ring shopping (and my little heart was soaring with excitement).
But then the waiting game began. [DUN DUN DUUNNN] Weeks turned to months and impatience turned into anxiety. At some point anxiety took permanent residence and let his BFF insecurity move in. I started thinking that Mr. Hawk didn’t really want to get married. (I know, I know it was only a couple months, but I was obsessed!) I mean I picked out the freakin’ ring. What else was there to do??!! What was he waiting for??!!
Looking back at those four months or so, I have some regrets and I’m pretty darn embarrassed. I shouldn’t have wasted time with worry and I surely should have trusted Mr. Hawk’s intentions because one beautiful and quiet Sunday morning in NYC’s Central Park, Mr. Hawk got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. (And he made me so exceedingly happy that my heart still flutters thinking about those few moments. WORTH.THE.WAIT.)
personal photo, 3/13/11
Was anyone else overcome with anxiety/doubts/insecurities while waiting for a proposal? Or are y’all blessed with a little more patience than me?!
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