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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Is There Such a Thing as an Alpha Wife?

While listening to an area morning show, I heard about an article featured in the New York Times opinion columns, titled "Alpha Wives: The Trend and the Truth." From the radio conversation, it seemed like another discourse on men not being able to handle being with successful women. The DJ's listed countless failed marriages: Courtney Cox and David Arquette, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline... And implied that the success of the woman was most likely part of the demise of the marriage. (Jesse James though? Really? I think we all know what his problem was...)

When I had a free minute, I looked up the article (and I'll admit I was ready to dislike it from the start). I was surprised to find seven takes on the growing trend of women being the breadwinners in the family. All of the writers featured stats from the latest Pew Research Center Study and had positive things to say about growing equality in marriage and joint responsibility; however, the article was entitled "Alpha Wives." Now I am all for a powerful, educated, and determined woman, but for some reason the "alpha" title irked me. Most of the contributors referred to joint responsibility in finances and taking care of the home as well as shared decision-making power. To me that says that no one is really "alpha" in the relationship.

The article got me thinking about my own relationship. Mr. Hawk currently makes a higher income than I do and also has the burden of being on the road most of the week. Due to the circumstances, I often play house-mommy to the dogs and do the majority of the house up-keep. To me this is not us taking on traditional roles, but each of us doing our part. If the roles were reversed, I am confident that Mr. Hawk would pick up the slack at home. My higher income job certainly wouldn't make me the "alpha," just as his doesn't now. I'm no expert, but I'm hoping our marriage will be a two-way street with shared responsibility in all aspects of our lives together.

Did you happen to read the "Alpha Wives" article? How do you feel about the word "alpha" in regards to relationships?


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