As of today, it has been exactly one month since Mr. H and I tied the knot. (Happy One Month Anniversary, Mr. Hawk!) Nearing the one-month mark really made me realize that although I had a beautiful wedding day, I had been hiding my head in the sand in regards to some of my feelings (and because of that ended up taking a longer than planned hiatus from the 'bee).
As I'm sure many of you married ladies can attest, the day flew by faster than any day I've ever experienced. I fully remember the moments and laughs that I spent with Mr. H during our first look. The actual wedding ceremony felt like a blink of an eye. Next thing I knew we were being introduced at the reception, and then moments later we were packing up the car and heading back to the hotel. It was a crazy whirlwind: both here and gone in a matter of seconds.
Partially due to the speed of the day, it took me a couple weeks to come to grips with the fact that the wedding actually happened at all. It almost seemed like a dream, and over the honeymoon Mr. H often heard me repeat, "I can't believe we're actually married. I can't believe it happend." Although I was incredibly happy to finally be his missus, it seemed very surreal.
I also experienced a feeling of loss. A full fourteen months of planning came to an end. My family and friends all went back to their lives, and I felt like I hadn't spent the time with them that I had wanted to. I did the best I could being pulled in many directions, but I wished I could've been superbride, sharing significant time with all of my loved ones who travelled so far to be with us. The worst part was with my parents and Sissy Hawk living cross-country, I knew that I wouldn't be able to see them again for over six months. With all of the wedding festivities, I was spoiled by getting to see them so often. I missed them already, and it tore me up inside.
There was also a little behind-the-scenes drama that I wasn't sure how to feel about. Although it truly didn't effect my wedding day, for some reason I was letting those feelings cloud over me a bit. I think the other mix of emotions I was dealing with really didn't help. The best way I can describe the totality of my emotions is to say that I was in a major post-wedding funk.
Luckily, as with most things, time has finally settled my nerves. Day-to-day life is starting to get back to normal, and I've excitedly accepted my new title as Mr. Hawk's wife. If any residual feelings of post-wedding funk find their way back, I try to focus on all of the beautiful moments like seeing Mr. Hawk at the end of the aisle, chatting with Momma Hawk over dinner, my dance with Daddy Hawk, and watching Sissy Hawk do the Roger Rabbit on the dance floor. Revisiting the photographs that I've received so far also does wonders. They transport me back to May 19 and put a smile on my face.
What emotions did you feel post-wedding? Did anyone else suffer through a funk like me? If so, how did you shake it?
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