The Great Name Change Debate

For some reason, changing my name has been weighing on me more and more lately. I am a pretty traditional gal and never, ever considered doing anything else but take my husband's name. It was a no-brainer for me. But for some reason, as of late the idea of losing my last name has started a bit of a mini-panic in me. Maybe its the thought changing my name will no longer make me a member of my family, or maybe I worry that I won't be "me." I really can't pinpoint it, and I've found these feelings to come completely out of left-field. I never in my life knew it would bother me, and it took me by surprise. So what to do?

Well Mr. Hawk is also very traditional and is not a big fan of us having different last names. (And actually I'm definitely not fond of the idea either. Once we have children, I don't want to be the only one with a different name. I want to be part of that family too!) The clear alternative would be to hyphenate. I guess I would be okay with this decision, but it doesn't exactly excite me either. Then a friend recently pointed out that if I did hyphenate, one slight mispronunciation of my last name combined with Mr. Hawk's could end up sounding like something very dirty. (And with Mr. Hawk's last name already being something that kids could be teased for, adding another layer just doesn't seem right.) Another option would be to drop my middle name and take my current last name as my middle name, but for me it really isn't an option. I love my middle name.

The only solution that has appeased me up to this point is to just tack on another name and add Mr. Hawk's last name to my current names. Yep, I'd have four. Lauren M. Mylastname Hislastname. I guess I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too, but this idea is the only idea that has been able to quell my panic. I still have several months to sort through my feelings and come up with a final decision. (So don't be surprised to see this idea revisited!)

Did anyone else suffer name change anxiety? How did you make your final decision?